Tuesday, May 16, 2006

this is such a good message!

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year,and
so we decided to get married.
My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend?
She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of
her underwear.

It had to be deliberate.
She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me
soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.

I opened the door and stepped out of the house.
I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside, with tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said,
"We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter; welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: always keep your condoms in your car!!!

Friday, May 12, 2006

classical re-write

this is the 12 days of christmas

On the twelfth day of christmas,
my bishie sent to me
Twelve emo's slashing,
Eleven televisions,
Ten thorny roses,
Nine plastic explosives,
Eight bb guns,
Seven bags of fun,(wtf?)
Six pokephiles,
Five emo-sexuals,
Four fat birds,
Three French hens,(coff coff the cokers!)
Two dry cokies,
and now pikachu's dead finally!


(is it just me or are these songs getting worse?)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

re-writes

okay this re-write is 'let me love you' by mario
(omg those dance moves...CRAP!)

its only the chorus though

You should let me pimp you
Let me be the one to give you every item you need on runescape
Baby good biscuts at tea-time
or having curried goat is fine
Show me the way the rice is supposed to be
Baby you should let me pimp you, pimp you, pimp you

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

emo time...again!

This is a re-write of the pokemon theme
(remember ''You teach me and I'll teach you, Poke-e-e-mon! gotta catch'em all'')



I always try to kil myself
but no-one ever cares
All the girls think I'm gay
because of my purple hair

I get depressed
and bullied alot
whilst i'm searching far and wide
is the dark master imaginary
or is he really ali-i-i-i-ve

(chorus)
Oh knife, its my wrists and me
slashing's my destiny
blood, oh your'e my best friend
i want my life to come to an end
i'm emo, because the worlds not true
and i have no friends too
i'll slash my wrists forward and back
e-e-e-m-o-o-o-o t-i-i-i-i-i-me
gottta slash 'em all
gotta slash 'em again
emo time!